Rude Graffiti

Love

And

War.

‘Nuff said.  What marriage has not known these two over the years.  Now, there are plenty of marriage books on the market to chose from, so how does one go about knowing which to read?  I for one, learned long ago that the Eldredge’s words speak to my heart in a way that no other human author does.  So, when I’m looking for honest, insightful thoughts on a topic, I turn to their works.  And this book does not disappoint.  One thing I appreciate so much about the Eldredge’s is their openness and honesty!  Challenging?  Yes.  Brutal?  Sometimes.  Necessary?  ABSOLUTELY!  This book opens eyes to some amazing, hidden gems in the institution God created, otherwise known as marriage.  The marriage goes far beyond a ceremony and vows; there are deep, strong spiritual implications in EVERY marriage.  And that’s why it is so ardently opposed by Satan.  Their words will not only leave you encouraged in your marriage, but craving a more intimate alliance with the one you’ve committed your life to.  A MUST READ for any couple!

So, I was chilling outside in our backyard last night.  The weather was awesome, so when I got home from work I made a fire and cooked hot dogs for the girls and I.  I kept it going so that I could head out there after the girls were in bed.  As I settled in for over an hour of time with God, I played a little Bob Marley softly for some relaxation.  (Yes I listened to Bob Marley while trying to have time alone with God)  I leaned back in my chair, closed my eyes, and just calmed every part of my being.  On my mind was my current situation where I’ve stepped away from my current ministry position at God’s direction.  With 2 weeks left there, I still have no job lined up to step into. 

A

LITTLE

STRESSFUL.

The song “Three Little Birds” came on at one point, with some of the lyrics being “Don’t worry about a thing, cause every little thing is gonna be alright.”  God’s really been working on me to view this time not as a CRISIS, but as an ADVENTURE!  Quite honestly, the timing of those lyrics was so amazing, so right on that it made me wonder,

“Is God speaking to me through a Bob Marley song?”

That debate we will save for another post, but I can tell you as I listened to those lyrics over and over, I felt God using that moment to assure me of His goodness.  I’ve encountered many verses in the Bible over the years concerning worry, and how we are not supposed to participate in it.  I still do not know what God is going to do, or what we may encounter.  All I know, is that last night while listening to a little Bob Marley, I began to feel God speaking and ministering to me.

There’s something about sitting around a campfire that just calms me, relaxes me, and allows me to be more sensitive to the Holy Spirit.  I think maybe it helps me to shut out the normal things that weigh on my mind, heart, and time.  It’s a chance to just sit and enjoy God’s creation (a little music never hurt). 

After my little God moment while enjoying some Bob, some distinctive thoughts came to me regarding Adventure vs. Crisis.  Many times, the circumstances between these two are/can be the same.  In my own experience, I’ve found the main difference to be the attitude with which I faced them.  I’ve done enough adventurous things now to know that while inevitably there are always difficult patches, scary moments, danger, etc., my attitude going into it is one of excitement and anticipation for the good things that will happen.  When I view situations as a crisis, my attitude is ALWAYS one of fear and worry.  In other words, adventure usually creates positive expectations and crisis usually invokes negative expectations. 

Running Comrades in South Africa was an amazing adventure!  Why?  Simply because of my attitude towards it.  Plenty could have gone wrong, and there’s always plenty to be scared of when running a 56 mile race halfway around the world.  I encountered more hard times that I had expected, but in the end I endured because of a positive attitude along the way.  I think the same is true in life.  Granted, many times life’s ramifications are more serious than those of a race, but nonetheless I think this principle holds true.  God does not want us to worry.  Why?  Because nothing positive happens when we worry.  Usually all that happens is we get stressed, get short with people, and begin to doubt the goodness and faithfulness of God.

I’m tired of worrying.  I’m tired of being stressed.  I’m tired of doubting God.  My new goal?  To develop a more prevalent outlook  of every situation in life as an adventure to be lived with God.  I want to trust God wholeheartedly.  I want to have an excited expectation of things to come!  I want to live in adventure!

I’m currently in the middle of a book by Jim Palmer titled Divine Nobodies.  Good book so far.  One chapter really caught my attention this morning.  The author is sitting in the library glancing through a book, and notices a father reading a book to his daughter, who happens to be wheelchair bound and hardly capable of even the slightest of movements and responses.  (We later find out she has cerebral palsy).  Anyways, the author was tremendously moved by their interaction, which prompted some writings that moved me this morning.  So I decided to share a few of his thoughts and mine with you….

Pg. 50-”Would God still love me if I couldn’t do anything for him?  What if I were useless and couldn’t do even the basic things I had learned a good Christian does?  What if I couldn’t impact others in any significant way, lead someone to Christ, serve a person in need, teach others Scripture, be a leader?  What if I couldn’t even go to church or have a quiet time?  What if I couldn’t progress any further in my spiritual life?  What if I were barely even capable of having an intelligent thought about God?  What if…..”

Pg. 51-”I’m so tired of trying to get God to like me……I worked hard to stay on my game (daily quiet times, attending church, leading groups, and teaching classes) as I envisioned God in heaven perpetually asking, ‘What have you done for me lately?”

Pg. 52-”There’s nothing she can really do FOR him, but she doesn’t need to do anything; her father simply loves her.”

Pg. 52-”What if there isn’t anything I can do “for” God?  What if he just wants me to lean against his face and receive his love?………Maybe this is why I’m so tired inside.”

That last line, “Maybe this is why I’m so tired inside” really grabbed my heart out of my chest and shook it violently.  How much of my life, my actions, my service been directed towards proving to myself that I belong to God?  What if I’m trying to prove to myself that I love God?  What if God simply wants us to sit back and receive His love? 

Quite honestly, I feel right now that I need to lay down the whole I’ll show you my faith by my actions thing, and simply let God love on me.  How does one go about doing that?  I have absolutely no idea.  But one thing I do know,

THAT

SOUNDS

SO 

REFRESHING

RIGHT

NOW.

“The way of trust is a movement into obscurity, into the undefined, into ambiguity, not into some pre-determined, clearly delineated plan for the future.  The next step discloses itself only out of discernment of God acting in…the present moment.  The reality of naked trust is the life of a pilgrim who leaves what is nailed down, obvious and secure, and walks into the unknown without any rational explanation to justify the decision or guarantee the future.  Why?  Because God has signaled the movement and offered his presence and his promise.”    (Brennan Manning, Ruthless Trust, pg. 13)

I actually came across this quote in Pete Greig’s book God On Mute a few weeks ago, and have been chewing on it ever since.  I didn’t catch it the first few times I reat the book, so maybe my own personal dealings as of late had something to do with me noticing it.  As a matter of fact, I never noticed it when reading Mr. Manning’s book either.  Hm.  God’s timing is perfect…………………

Anywho, recently my wife and I felt directed by God to move on from our current ministry.  It was a process that took many years to bring us to that point, but we finally BOTH felt God saying now is the time, MOVE!  To where, we still haven’t seen.  We are trying desperately to walk with God “in….the present moment”.  I’m not really sure people grasp how difficult this is until they are actually in it. 

I’ve always thought I lived life like I had faith in God.  Well let me tell you, stepping away from ministry when you have nothing lined up to step into…………..that’s a whole new level of faith in God!  I’ve got a little over 2 weeks left, and still no definite leads for jobs.  Some might call this reckless.  Others might brand us as naive, silly, stupid even for pulling such a stunt.  All I know is that I’m trusting and leaning into God like never before.  My life literally depends on it! 

Sometimes I think Faith is branded as this nice, cupcake like dessert that we get to experience as Christians, when, in fact it can be quite different.  Faith is messy.  It’s difficult.  It doesn’t always go down so nicely.  But in the end, it’s always, ALWAYS worth trying.  We are always better off going the route of faith.  Just don’t think it’s going to be this nice flat path with plush green moss underfoot.  No, the road of faith can be quite treacherous, scary, and even seem risky.  But the experience of faith is so rewarding.  And that’s where I currently find myself.

“Do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you.”  (I Peter 4:12)

I been rereading the book God On Mute by Pete Greig this past week, and have gotten some really good thoughts from it.  He says, “Perhaps we should accept what older people and poorer people and many of those with disabilities already know: Things are probably going to be very difficult today and just as hard tomorrow, too.”  He goes on a few pages later to share, “I’m not suggesting that we should pray for hard times but rather that when such times come, we should feel a little less outrage and a lot more hope because Jesus, who went through similar struggles, predicted that we would have them and promised to be with us in the midst of them.”

I must admit, I’ve been doing a lot of ragging lately.  I rage and rage and rage, all the while knowing the truthfulness behind the verse above.  Life is tough.  When were we ever promised that it would be easy?  Why then do we act surprised, even betrayed when something difficult occurs?  Why do we act put off, angry even at God?  I know His infinite goodness, something far beyond my comprehension.  I know He loves me, and yet so often that is hard for me to fully trust.  That’s not His fault, but mine.  God has done nothing to make me doubt His goodness and love for me.  I project the fallenness of mankind onto God, in much the same way that I’m guessing we all do. 

How silly a thing to do; treat God as if He were even close to the humans we encounter.  I rage and rant and piss and moan, but only when I take a moment to quiet down, and soften my heart, do I have the opportunity to hear God whispering.  This is not always the case; I do not always hear God.  But I’ve yet to experience Him shouting over my voice to get my attention.  (I take that back, I did once, recently while running Comrades Marathon.  My emotions were getting the best of me and I started freaking, and felt God get my attention much like I would with one of my own kids.  The purpose being to get me to stop focusing on the here and now, and focus on Him for a moment) 

The past few days, I’ve taken time here and there to quietly ask God some questions, and wait patiently for a response.  And He’s answered.  Not always a direct response to the questions I asked, but He’s always said something appropriate to me.  And you know what, I’m beginnin to trust Him more.  I think we’d all be much better off if we took a moment to quietly speak and listen with God.  Slow down.  See what He has to say.  It just might sweep you off your feet into an adventure you never saw coming!