We All Have Bad Days
(Written on Saturday, August 28, 2010)
So I’m sitting here, having just put my two daughters to bed. I’m going over the day in my head, and have come to the realization that it has not been one of my better ones.
We
All
Have
Bad
Days.
We do. It’s a part of life. No parent/spouse is perfect. Some try harder than others. There are few things I desire more in life than to be an amazing, top-notch husband and father. I take great pride in the care I give to my wife and daughters. And yet, my heart is heavy tonight because I know I did not bring my A-game today.
Yes, we all have bad days. Today was one of those days that even when I apologized to my almost 5 year old and 2 ½ year old, it hardly seemed enough. I was short with them. I yelled at them. I lost my temper. I made them cry. I was short with my wife. I was unfair to her.
I
Took
Stress
Out
On
A
Lot
Of
People
Today.
It sucks when I do that. I know I’ve done damage to my children that I may not be able to repair. The thought that I’m a perfect parent is hilarious; I know my shortcomings. However, I hate to treat those I love less than they deserve. And my family is AMAZING! They deserve so much better than I gave them today.
And I find myself, in the midst of thinking through this, drawn back to John 4:23-24 out of The Message. After posting this a day or two ago I came across it in two different books, bringing me to the conclusion that maybe God is trying to show me something. (Ya think?!)
These verses tell us that the Father is looking for “those who are simply and honestly themselves before him in their worship”. That word “honestly” keeps catching my attention. Tonight, I find myself drawn to God, despite the day I’ve had. I want to crawl up in his lap, cry my heart out and tell Him how awful I’ve been. I want to simply have Him hold me, while He lets me air out my dirty laundry. Then, when I’m done, I want Him to tell me He forgives me and that He loves me so much. I don’t want to feel that it’s ok. I want to feel that He loves me in spite of what I’ve done. And I want to worship and sit at His feet for awhile.
So, I think that’s what I’m gonna do right now. I’m gonna go outside, sit by a fire at a place called Legwood, and marvel at God, in His presence. I’m gonna let Him heal me of all my sins. I’m gonna worship Him because I’m not perfect, and I’m in need of a perfect Savior. I’m gonna simply and honestly be myself before Him. Because after the day I’ve had, that’s all I have left to offer. Thank God He will accept me.