People Pleasers
I was sitting out by the fire tonight, ending my vacation by listening to a little Jes Karper and thinking about life. Thoughts from a Nooma dvd came to mind; different things Rob Bell said in this particular installment. My mind was consumed with not wanting to go back to work tomorrow, why certain people may be frustrated or upset with me, wondering what would happen if certain people found out certain things, etc., and I came to the realization that I spend way more time thinking about other people and their perception of me than I do thinking about God.
Yes, that’s right people. I AM A PEOPLE PLEASER.
Those that think they know me may not necessarily agree. But those that truly know me understand that I HATE when someone is upset at me, or thinks lowly of me, doesn’t like me, etc. This is the curse of the people pleaser: we think way more about people than we do about God. At first thought I feel I do a fairly good job of spending regular quality time with God. I think that most people that know me would agree. But what is this compared to? Other people? The time thinking about everything else? Doh!!!!!!!!!! Man, the more I spend time with God, the more I realize just how little time I actually give Him every day. Humanly speaking, if you give God a solid hour every day, you are doing pretty good. But think about it. That’s giving God 1/24th of your day! Obviously, we can’t sit in a closet all day long every day meditating and praying to God. But, I’d venture to bet that most of us spend way more time focused on things that distract us from God rather than God centered things.
My point is this. Why am I having a hard time right now? I am focused on “other” things, and not on God. Oh, it’s very easy to fool myself into thinking that I am focused on God. But truthfully, making others happy, making sure all my relationships are peaceful, stressing about work and ministry, worrying about others thoughts of me, and many other things tend to consume my mind. I usually only think of God when I mean and purpose to, when I set aside time to. I want to become such a lover of Christ that my mind naturally flows towards God and the things that please Him. I don’t want to have to work at it anymore. I want to be consumed with thoughts of God.
Why am I struggling? Is it because my life is an awful wreck? Hardly. My life is blessed beyond measure when compared to 95% of the rest of the world. Why am I struggling? Is it because how others treat me, view me, think about me, talk about me behind my back? Nope. Why am I struggling? One reason. I am not consumed with thoughts of God. I am focused on other things.
If you think about it, pray for me. I want to be consumed with God and thoughts of God. Pray that I would become more intune to God in general. Pray that I would become more obedient to God’s promptings no matter the cost. Pray that I would be concerned with God alone. Pray that I would not share Him with any other priority. I want Him to be my only priority! Pray that I become more of a God pleaser, and less of a people pleaser.