Rude Graffiti

“Do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you.”  (I Peter 4:12)

I been rereading the book God On Mute by Pete Greig this past week, and have gotten some really good thoughts from it.  He says, “Perhaps we should accept what older people and poorer people and many of those with disabilities already know: Things are probably going to be very difficult today and just as hard tomorrow, too.”  He goes on a few pages later to share, “I’m not suggesting that we should pray for hard times but rather that when such times come, we should feel a little less outrage and a lot more hope because Jesus, who went through similar struggles, predicted that we would have them and promised to be with us in the midst of them.”

I must admit, I’ve been doing a lot of ragging lately.  I rage and rage and rage, all the while knowing the truthfulness behind the verse above.  Life is tough.  When were we ever promised that it would be easy?  Why then do we act surprised, even betrayed when something difficult occurs?  Why do we act put off, angry even at God?  I know His infinite goodness, something far beyond my comprehension.  I know He loves me, and yet so often that is hard for me to fully trust.  That’s not His fault, but mine.  God has done nothing to make me doubt His goodness and love for me.  I project the fallenness of mankind onto God, in much the same way that I’m guessing we all do. 

How silly a thing to do; treat God as if He were even close to the humans we encounter.  I rage and rant and piss and moan, but only when I take a moment to quiet down, and soften my heart, do I have the opportunity to hear God whispering.  This is not always the case; I do not always hear God.  But I’ve yet to experience Him shouting over my voice to get my attention.  (I take that back, I did once, recently while running Comrades Marathon.  My emotions were getting the best of me and I started freaking, and felt God get my attention much like I would with one of my own kids.  The purpose being to get me to stop focusing on the here and now, and focus on Him for a moment) 

The past few days, I’ve taken time here and there to quietly ask God some questions, and wait patiently for a response.  And He’s answered.  Not always a direct response to the questions I asked, but He’s always said something appropriate to me.  And you know what, I’m beginnin to trust Him more.  I think we’d all be much better off if we took a moment to quietly speak and listen with God.  Slow down.  See what He has to say.  It just might sweep you off your feet into an adventure you never saw coming!

It’s amazing what you see when you take the time to really open your eyes and look.

It’s also amazing what you hear when you take the time to really open your ears and listen.

I’m not really sure what I expected when I traveled to South Africa.  There was plenty I had read about regarding life outside of America.  Imaginations can run wild when one hears statistics like “half the world lives on less than $2 a day”.  It’s difficult to grasp life like that without experiencing it firsthand.  Shoot, it’s still hard for me to grasp it even after visiting people in less than ideal conditions for a few days.  When I left for South Africa I knew what to expect; at least that’s what my thinking was.  To some extent, seeing huts, dirt floors, and poor living conditions were things that I saw spent time in.  But honestly, I got lost in something I never expected.

Despite seeing all the poverty around me, I got lost in the attitude we encountered in the people of South Africa.  What I saw was hope.  What I saw were many smiles.  What I saw was a future!  I walked away amazed at the combination of World Vision South Africa staff and their relentless persuit of being “Inspired to see NO CHILD WITHOUT” along with the spirit and attitude of South Africans. 

This attitude has given me hope for my own life.  Since I’ve been back home a concerted effort has been made to spend more time “listening” to God, and to see things as they are.  Too often I can have the tendency to view the negative, noticing what’s missing in a situation or circumstance, leading to a pessimistic view of life.  South Africans inspired me to look for the positive, to take a moment and truly see, truly hear.  The fast-paced life that I live all too often leads to my demise.  More often than not I miss out on the here and now because I’m either looking back or looking ahead.  I want to begin to live in the moment, and drink in what life is offering right now.  Good or bad.  (Most of my “bad” is pretty mild in comparision to the majority of the world)  I want to live life to the fullest, for that is why Jesus came.  I want to make a difference in those around me, because Jesus has made a difference in me. 

I was sincerley amazed at the hospitality we were shown while in South Africa.  The World Vision staff and people treated us like royalty.  We were shown so much appreciation for running Comrades and helping to inspire people to sponsor children, and I felt guilty because of it.  The World Vision South Africa staff and South Africans are the real heroes.  We simply talked to some of you, and trained to run a race.  However, they are in the trenches each and every day with people in dire need of help.  That’s a calling I could not complete, ashamedly so.  The word “heroes” almost doesn’t even do them justice.  Truly, they are the hands and feet of Jesus.

Most people have first and foremost wanted to know about Comrades Marathon, and have shared their different thoughts on me running and finishing it, so I thought I’d make my first specific post about my trip to South Africa on Comrades.

PLEASE NOTE……….THIS WAS NOT MY MAIN REASON FOR THIS TRIP!

With that in mind, let’s move on.  Admittedly, Comrades was a major focus physically speaking of this trip, and required much hard work and discipline just to train for it.  What made it even more difficult was not being fully aware of the difficulty of this event.  I fully believe that many people can train their bodies to run/walk 56 miles at one time.  I’m still overweight technically speaking; even moreso for a runner.  However, I’ve trained my body to overcome some of that.  For most it’s simply an issue of if they want to or not.  My training went well for the most part.  The only time I had any real injuries or pain was in the final month and a half or so before the race, which is the point you are supposed to start tapering (slowing down) anyways. 

One tremendously helpful advantage was receiving a copy of a documentary that has yet to be released on Comrades.  This documentary follows the story of 6 different runners, their training, and how race day went for them that year.  Watching this gave me a healthy perspective of the daunting task of participating in this event.  Needless to say, I did not allow my wife or mother to watch!  However, nothing fully prepares you for how difficult this was except toeing that starting line and taking off!

With almost 10,000 feet of elevation gain and almost 12,000 feet of elevation loss cumulative, the term hilly course took on a entirely new meaning for me.  Living in the cornfields of Central Illinois was a pretty large handicap when it came to hill work in my training.  The course offered a constant barrage of ups and downs, with very little if any flat terrain until the stadium and finish line.  When I say this was by far THE most difficult thing physically, mentally, and emotionally I’ve ever attempted, I’m hardly doing the statement justice.  Words simply cannot describe the challenge of this for me. 

I was able to run the first 10k (6 miles) or so with a fellow Team World Vision teammate, Paul Martin.  This man is amazing!  He lost one of his legs below the knee years ago, and since then has propelled himself into an amazing athlete.  Hands down, Paul is one of the most inspirational men I know.  Check out his website at www.paulmartinspeaks.com.  He’s even got a second book coming out soon, which I’ve ordered and can’t wait to read.  I finally allowed him to pull away from me, leaving around 50 miles to tackle on my own.  Honestly, I don’t remember much from the race from that point on, only small snapshots that are permanently etched in my brain. 

A pivotal point in the race came for me at the 32 mile mark.  This was the furthest I had ever run in training, or my life for that matter up to that point.  Everything from there on it was unchartered water for me.  So, with 24 miles to go, I was done.  Seriously, I thought there was no way I could continue.  What truly makes this event tough and unique, is the 12 hour time limit you are alloted to finish.  That leaves little wiggle room considering 80% of the runners finish in the last 2 hours of the 12 hours given.  My emotions began to get the best of me and that’s when God got ahold of me.  He settled me down, and after some calculating I figured I would make the finish line just in time if I could average 4 miles per hour for the rest of the way.  I also felt God telling me that if I hung in there and gave it my all, He would get me across that finish line.  The main goal at that point was not to give up mentally.  Let me tell you, THE most difficult part of this for me was keeping a positive attitude for the remaining 24 miles!  That’s almost an entire marathon of fighting off negative thoughts and emotions, after running a 50k. 

That’s hard to imagine or comprehend, especially if you’re not a runner.  Most runners will tell you that running is as much a mental and emotional sport as it is physical.  You’ve simply got to keep your emotions in check constantly in order to reach different goals one has in running.  So, I put my head down, and surged ahead, forcing myself to run when I could and walk the rest of the time.  In fact, I’m pretty sure I walked the last 10 miles simply because I could walk faster than I could run at that point.  The hills were never ending, which took an incredible toll on muscles in my legs that I don’t normally use.  One final shock was coming across a lady passed out on the road, just outside the stadium and finish line.  With less than a half mile to go, this lady’s body had enough, and she was sprawled out with an oxygen mask on.  At that point I began praying for you, while praising God for His protection on my own body.  I never once cramped up or even got a blister…….my muscles simply got to the point where I could do nothing but waddle towards that finish line.

As I entered the stadium my eyes began to scan the thousands of people for a small tangent of 17 fellow runners, all clad in our orange TWV jerseys.  I finally found them, or should I say they found me, near the finish line.  I was brought in to the chanting of my name by fellow teammates, Comrades, brothers and sisters.  I was the last one on our team to finish, but finish I did in 11:45:14, ensuring success for our entire team of first-timers.  With a team filled with runners of varying abilities and levels, our first goal was realized, to see everyone finish the Comrades Marathon.  The Ultimate Human Race.  Wow.

And yet, as I’ve shared, this was not what drew me to South Africa.  This was.

Her name is Nomonde, and her face was etched into my mind the entire race.  She is the second girl that my family sponsors through World Vision.  I actually got to meet her and spend some time with her in the days that followed the race.  You will get to read about that time in the coming days and weeks.  This little girl, was what brought me to South Africa.  Being an orphan (her father is dead), she’s known much heartache in life.  It’s hard to imagine what life is like for her on a daily basis, even after visiting her home and grandmother.  But I do know, that by sponsoring her through World Vision, life is better than it was for her.  Her smile is as beautiful as my own daughters’. 

$35/month from us has tangibly begun to make a difference in her life.  Meeting her, spending amazing time with her, and sponsoring her has already made a difference in our life. 

That’s why I ran Comrades.  That’s why I traveled to South Africa.  And that’s why I’m asking you to sponsor a child TODAY!  World Vision is doing some amazing things IN PARTNERSHIP with the people of South Africa.  Our goal was to find 1,500 new children sponsors, and we are a little over half-way there.  Now that we’ve run our race, visited some of the children, areas, and World Vision staff, the time has come to finish strong.  All that’s lacking is the funding.  As Americans, we’ve been blessed beyond measure with money and resources.  Please, please visit www.theultimatecause.org today and sponsor a child on my behalf.  And look for more posts in the next week or so regarding the rest of my trip!

Over the course of the next week or so I hope to upload a few posts regarding my trip to South Africa with Team World Vision. I still have to find some time to really think through a lot of things and digest my entire experience. What I can tell you now is that it was an amazing time, and a period that I feel much was learned. With that being said, one of the main things I came back with was a renewed sense to spend more time with God.

No, I don’t mean more time reading my bible or praying. I mean simply spending more time with Him. Period. As I’ve done that this week I’ve come away with 2 positive things to keep my mind focused on.

First, I want to focus on living here, right now. No more focus on the past, no worrying or focusing on the future. Just live right here, right now. Enjoy being in God’s presence NOW! I’ve found that when I dwell on the past or worry about the future, God’s never a part of that picture. However, when I focus on right now, I tend to allow Him more access. So, that’s one of my focus’.

Second, I want to see things as they are, and not see them as something they’re not. Confused? Basically, I tend to the pessimistic view of things. I am working on viewing things in a positive light, choosing to focus on what things are, not what I wish they would be.

As I spent some time in James 4 this morning, I was reminded that often times I view things in an opposite manner that God does. I want my view to be more like His. James 4 doesn’t necessarily speak to this, but as I read with an open mind, eyes, and heart, my thoughts gravitated toward this.

So, South Africa was a great experience, if for nothing else than I came back with a renewed vigor to “hang” with God, live in the here and now, and focus more on the postiives than the negatives. I’ve many amazing experiences, pics, and vids to share with you all over the coming days, so stay tuned. I will alert people via facebook as to when a new blog has been posted. Until then, I’ll be hanging with God.

Fear is such a dirty illusion. 

I’ve read so may verses in the Bible where God proclaims, “Fear not…….”, and yet I think most of us waste large amounts of time being paralyzed by fear of one sort or another.

I think Satan uses fear as a smoke screen.  When I really come to think of it, the things I’m generally fearful of are really nothing to care about at all.  Currently, I’m training for Comrades Marathon, a 56 mile double marathon in South Africa.  I’m going with Team World Vision, in an effort to find 1,500 new child sponsors for children in Africa.  This has led to asking people in my sphere of influence to consider sponsoring a child, which requires $35/month and a heart for those in dire circumstances. 

To me this is a simple ask, because for a relatively small amount of resources on our part, one child can experience the difference between life and possible death (at least physically).  This sponsorship provides the child with education, food, medical care, spiritual teaching, and also provides their village with things they desperately need.  We’re talking about tangible love here. 

I know that if I don’t speak up and present the need, people may not know about it.  People may not sponsor children.  Some children will suffer, and may even die simply because I didn’t have the cojones to present the need.  I was fearful of presenting the need because people might say no.

SERIOUSLY?

What kind of crap is that?  I signed up for a trip, where the main purpose is to develop new child sponsors, and now I’m scared of asking people to do so?  What the heck is wrong with me?  The problem is fear is an illusion.  Our team leader has done a great job of encouraging us not to get to the starting line of this race, or leave the village we will visit with any regrets.  Wishing we had done more.  Wishing we had asked just one more person.  Wishing we had asked specific people.  Wishing we hadn’t punked out because we were scared they would say no.  What a crock.

So, I’m putting you on notice.  If you know me, I will be asking.  I will be specifically asking you to sponsor a child.  There’s too much at stake here.  A child’s life hangs in the balance, and I’m going to ask for your help.  My family and I already sponsor 2 little girls.  So, I’m not asking you to do something I’m not doing myself.  If you want to beat me to the punch, check out our website, www.theultimatecause.org and sponsor a child there.  Be sure to let me know if you do. 

And work hard at not allowing Satan to throw the smoke screen of fear at you anymore, because too much is at stake.  There is nothing to fear.  Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world!  Time’s a wasting, let’s get to it people!